Today, I am going to introspect and talk about how things have influenced my life based on certain parameters :
FEAR
1. ABANDONMENT
Since childhood, I have always felt the need to stick to people, whether they be friends or a special one. And I constantly need assurance from them. Many people have abandoned me in my journey of life till now and each incident has pierced my heart and affected me deeply. I always fear that people will leave me and so I constantly keep on pushing them away to try and detach myself or fight with them to see whether they stick around or not.
2. MATHEMATICS
I still get nightmares about Maths. I got a lot of thrashing from my mom when i was young with respect to this subject and maybe that is where I started fearing it. I see numbers and I become numb and shut myself out because my childhood flashbacks keep coming where my mom hit me when I did one sum wrong or when my maths teacher at school threatened me, humiliated me and made fun of me in front of the entire class. And this fear has build inside me for years and even now I am unable to get rid of it.
3. SNAKES
This tremendous fear of snakes to the extent that I fall sick started at the age of 3 when my mom used to scare me with toy snakes whenever I was upto some mischief. And now the fear has gone to such extent that I feel physically sick even if I see a picture of any snake.
LIKE
1. TRAVELLING
Being a bengali, it is a must for me to travel once a year at least. Though this ritual stopped a long time back due to busy schedule of my parents, I still like travelling to places, especially to off-beat places,exploring the culture there. It helps me grow as an individual. And travelling makes me more responsible in life.
2. MEETING NEW PEOPLE
I like meeting new people, talking to them. It helps me to understand people, their beliefs( even though it might not be the same as mine), thoughts and ideology. It intrigues and excites me how diverse people exist and co-live under the sun. This is helped me especially while sitting for interviews because I try to understand the other person and tackle conflicts in general.
3. READING
I like reading since childhood. It transfers me to my world of fantasy and opens a window to the outside world. Reading has helped me in making my writing skills better.
LOVE
1. PARENTS
My mother is my best friend, my shield, my everything and I love her the most. Wherever I am and whatever I have achieved so far is because of her. She is my role model and my inspiration in life and I hope to become like her one day.
A special mention should also go to my father for always supporting me through my thick and thin and going out of his way to provide me with a comfortable life.
This I have realised after moving to Bangalore
2. POSTO
Posto, my pet dog, is my life and my sunshine. He taught me a lot of things in life and I learnt how to love someone unconditionally because of him. He is the mosthappy thing in my life.
3. KOLKATA
Kolkata, my city of birth, is extremely close to my birth. I won’t be able to point out the things that I love about the city of joy. I love everything about it- the atmosphere, the smell of “bhaarer chaa” ( earthern cup tea) , street food, Park Street, College Street. The city has helped in my growth as a person and I will forever be grateful to it.
HATE
1. BETRAYAL
I have been back-stabbed or betrayed by many of my friends in life and everytime someone betrays me, the person takes a part of me with him/her. I cannot stand betrayal and I hate it with the innermost core of my heart. But betrayal has also taught me to be strong and not give up.
2. IMPOSITION
Since childhood, I have been a good kid and I have done whatever I was asked to by my elders. One thing which I cannot take is imposition. I feel suffocated and feel like rebelling everytime someone imposes something on me. Imposition doesn’t work with me.
3. SHOUTING
As stated earlier, perks of being a good kid and a sincere student, I received very less shouting. I did all the work many times, just to avoid shouting. As soon as someone shouts at me to make do something, I stop listening to the person. Someone can tell me the same thing and make me understand and I will perform the task with utmost sincerity but shouting makes me bitter.
AGREE
1. DISCIPLINE
Studying at a convent college, I have thoroughly understood the significance of discipline. Discipline has made me a hard working girl and I have improved a lot as a person in college due to the disciplined environment. It has pushed me to do better in all my work.
2. ENCOURAGEMENT
I believe that everybody should be encouraged in doing the right things or follow their dreams. As a child, I had received very less encouragement which somewhat played a key factor in my lack of self-esteem and confidence.
3. KINDNESS
I believe and agree that kindness is very important and everyone should ne taught how to be kind. Kindness is crucial, especially in this world.
DISAGREE
1. WAR
War has only led to destruction and brought sadness. And I believe everything can be solved or at least a compromise can be reached.
2. PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE
I disgaree on any form of physcial and mental abuse as it can absolutely ruin a person and can be fatal in many cases. It only brings pain, suffering, and negativity.
3. EXPLOITATION TOWARDS ANIMALS
Animals are living beings too and to be honest, much better than the human species now. Exploting animals is a thing which I do not support and agree at all and that includes ill-treatment towards them as well. If you do not like any creature then move away or shoo them in a pleasant way, not bully them or hurl abuses at them.
WANT IMMEDIATELY
1. RELAXATION
With this extremely busy schedule, a little time for relaxation would be nice. Relaxation makes me feel refreshed and more prepared for work.
2. HOME FOOD
One of the cons of staying away from home is not being able to eat home food. If I had genie, the first thing I would ask for is home-made chicken stew and rice.
3. BREAK
Due to work pressure, I have hardly gone out to places in Bangalore. I would want a break now to chill for a bit from work. It would be a nice change and I would feel refreshed.
WISH YOU HAD
1. KNOWLEDGE
As History was my honours subject at my undergraduate level, this course is very new to me. I struggle to understand the concepts in marketing or management and it makes me wish that I had some background in these subjects. Nontheless, I am a quick learner and this gap has made a hard working student.
2. EXPERIENCE
Work experience is very crucial and I have hardly worked anywhere before. While applying for internships, I learnt how important previous work experience is and it made me wish that I had some, especially when majority of the interviews asked me about it.
3. MONEY.
I understood the value of money after moving to Bangalore at a time when my family went through a financial crisis. It pained me to see my ailing mother still working hard just to provide my education and stay here. During such times, I wished I had money to solve this problem.
WOULD NEVER WANT
1. FAKE FRIENDS
They are the worst enemies. I have had experiences where people have pretended to be my friends and have pulled me down in my professional and personal life and backstabbed me. I would never want such people in my life.
2. MONEY EARNED BY UNFAIR MEANS OR BY TAKING AWAY SOMEBODY ELSE’S
One thing that my parents have taught me and I will never do in my life is cheating on somebody with respect to money. Even during my tough times,I will never do something like this or want to earn money by engaging in some wrongdoing.
3. NEGATIVITY
It is natural to attract negative energy when one is bogged down with loads of work. And one can find abundant people who are always negative and bitter. I would never want to bring negative people or negativity in my life.
BELIEVE IN
1. FAITH
I believe in faith, unwavering faith. It has the power to change things in your favour and experiences in my life had proved this. I had broken down when I was stuck in Calcutta Univeristy for my post graduation and I hated every day of it. But I didn’t lose faith. I knew I can change things and one year later my life changed when I moved to Bangalore. I was shattered when my mother was diagnosed with cancer but I had faith and that faith helped me in maintaining my calm and conviction that she will fight it and emerge victorious.
2. HELPING THE UNDER PRIVILEGED
I always believe in helping those who are in need. Since childhood, I have helped and contributed to to make the underprivileged people smile and worked for their betterment and I will continue to do so.
3. PASSION
I belive in being passionate. Because without passion,I wouldn’t be able to achieve anything.